Random thought #1 (collect all Five!)

I’m not even remotely capable of making music. But I think that it would’ve been super-cool* if I can pour this unworthy turmoil (which by the way has been around for quite a while that I start to think that it has successfully transformed into a permanent state of mind instead of a temporary commotion that it’s supposed to be) into a song.

Maybe it will sound less stupid if I disguised all the obvious meaning by use of poetic and rhyming words. Maybe people will even think that it’s a beautiful song, although they may not understand what it actually means. Like Jewel’s songs, prior to that one with the video where she started to dance and dress cheap and pose and take beauty shots and practically lose her mind. While that formula is quintessential for a manufactured pop star like Jessica Simpson, it was a career suicide for Jewel.

Where was I? Oh yeah, writing a song. Here’s a title that keeps popping up into my mind like an annoying err..pop-up window **.

“I should’ve keyed your car”

It has a nice ring into it, does it? I imagined that the sound of this song would be somewhat a mixture of Liz Phair meets Fall Out Boys meets Radiohead circa ok computer, with a touch of Ben Folds’ smart-mouthed-ness. Hearing the song for the 1st time, people would think that it’s about quasi-vandalism as an outlet for teenage angst. But then when they listen to it, they would realize actually that the song has nothing to do with teenage angst. Maybe it’s about something more profound but equally impulsive.

This song will be the title track of my first EP. The other tracks in the EP would be my own rendition of the Carpenter’s Desperado and Sum 41’s Fat Lip. It would top the chart of Rolling Stones for about 3 weeks before being knocked over by Tori Amos’ new album (consider it as a dignified defeat). And then Jason Mraz would start to make references about me on his site. Hehehe...


* do you know what’s NOT super-cool? The phrase super-cool itself. (and in fact it’s actually down-right lame)
** please excuse the uncreative choice of analogy

Make a smoothie

Here’s how you can make a sure-fire-turmoil-inflicting smoothie to start your day with:

Ingredients:
½ cup semi-solid attraction
1 handful fresh curiosity
½ frozen-superficiality
4 cubes constant-questioning
1 pinch animosity

Instruction
Mix all ingredients in a blender at full speed. Blend until you get such consistent mix that you cannot tell apart one ingredient from the others (because they all have become one!). Best served chilled.
Serves for one.





For those of you who love smoothie (and must be both experimental and reckless enough to try out a recipe from a non-recipe blog), you can actually make a DELICIOUS strawberry-banana-morning smoothie by replacing the ingredients above with, respectively: plain yoghurt, strawberry, Cavendish banana - cut into half, ice cube, low-calories sweetener (in case you have a sweet tooth. Personally I like mine unsweetened).
Follow the instruction instinctively and kindly inform me on what you think about the smoothie.
Smoothie recipe courtesy of my sis.

The Importance of Being Idle

I started to gain the title “Idle Girl” among friends and fellow 4th level dwellers (not that I’m proud of it). There’s quite a towering pile of things to do, but as slacker-ism triumphs over common sense, I managed to dodge and do nothing instead.

Actually I don’t believe the concept of ‘doing nothing’ because even when you’re not doing anything significantly of use, you’re still doing something. Whether it’s just daydreaming or just simply being absent-minded, it is still a thing you’re doing, isn’t it?

Here are 5 idle favorite activities (paradoxical eh?) of the moment.
1. Being in good company of classmates 2002
Is it just me or this week IS the best week ever? It’s the last week of class of 2002’s ‘final’ semester. Yes, it has been 4 years now. Unbelievable. And soon it’s coming to an end.
Suddenly every conversation is 10 times more interesting.
Every joke is 10 times funnier.
Every friendship is 10 times more cherished.
Every moment is 10 times more treasured.
And every minute is passing 10 times faster.
Maybe I’m just over-dramatizing time. Maybe it truly is the end of an era. OH! I’m SO going to miss these days.

2. Contemplating
Borrowing a term so abundantly used by two of my friends Viar and Igun.(How they can contemplate with all those monoxide, tar and toxins in their lungs, brains and blood is just beyond me:). Actually it’s just a fancy word that has the same meaning as ‘overanalyzing’:
Trying to find/bring/conjure meaning from every little (and big) thing that happened in one’s life.
Trying to figure out the mechanics in which all these intertwining components and events are interacting with one another.
Trying to make the most use from one’s linear and confined mind to comprehend life whilst it is not meant to be comprehensible.
Does believing in ‘nothing in life is a coincidence’ means that one has to know the reason why the non-coincidence has to happen in the 1st place?
Overanalyzing can bring revelation and agony at the same time. I take the chances and always succumb to the temptation of doing it over and over again. And lately everything that happened in my life is becoming more and more inexplicable.

3. Browsing illustration blogs/websites
I am obsessed of illustrations, especially those on children book. Growing up attached to pictorial books, I still carry around the vivid images from those books in the back of my mind somewhere. Those are among the most beautiful pictures I’ve seen in my life. Of course, there are also Wyeths, Degas’, Hoppers, et cetera et cetera..but somehow those picture retain a special place in my mind and also my heart. That’s why I’m also obsessed of being a children book illustrator. It’s almost overwhelming to think that my illustration can linger forever in a child’s mind for years and years after the printed pages became yellowish and decayed.

4. Reading Jason Mraz’s On Line Journal
I heart Jason Mraz. I truly do. Bearing the risk of sounding like a cheesy teeny bopper who subscribes to Teen People and Tigerbeat, I hereby declare that in a public space.

5. Bickering
I know, I know..such a bad habit, it is. My only excuse would be: Turmoil needs an outlet, sooner or later. But I feel sorry for my v.v.v.v.patient friends who have endured my endless bickering. Apologize for that, guys! I will try my best to be less whiny in the future.

Footnote:
The super-ego version of this list would be (i.e. the things I would be better off doing):
Working on final year project
Working on simulation assignment
Working on business plan assignment
Working on after-graduate plan
Working on self actualization and inner peace
GULP!! They all begin with “working on”!!

STOP PRESS: mr curiosity

haha..i just get it..
"you took care of the cat already.."
it refers to the old saying "curiosity killed the cat"
hehehhe..
not the brightest of them all, i am
hehehe

Five Musicians That I Want My First Album to Sound Like

I don’t think I will ever have any album, EVER. Those who have gone to karaoke with me would probably know what I’m saying.

1. Renee Olstead

I just adore her voice. It’s sultry but not too sultry. She has good technique but that’s not the only thing that she relies on. She sounds so much older than her age, and I mean it in a v.v.v.good way. And I like her music, too. It has a vintage note to it and not many artists make that kind of music these days. She successfully pulled off all these old numbers which was originally recorded about 30 years before she was even born.

2. Ben Folds

The thing with all of Ben’s songs is that you’ll never know where it’ll go, line after line. It’s not like those cheesy pop songs in which you can figure out what the chorus, the bridge and the ending would sound like as soon as you listen to the first verse. I think his piano melodies are truly one of a kind, at least in these modern days. (One of his influences is Jerry Lee Lewis). And also his lyrics. You can listen to his song for so many times, and it has a different meaning each time you listen to it.

3. Alicia Keys

Some of her lyrics are actually a bit mushy-mushy, but she can sing it without sounding ..well, mushy-mushy. I think it’s because she’s so soulful that it sound like she really means those words. And her vocal range is also quite remarkable. She can hit all the high notes without sounding as annoying as Mariah.

4. Fall Out Boys

They’re just another perfect evident that being a loser in high school makes you a good musician, later in your life as a grown up. All those teenage angst, bottled up inside for years, waiting for a channel to come out. It’s just like fine wine, the longer it’s been kept, the better it gets.

5. Kings of Convenience

I just love they serene, tranquil sound. It’s such a signature of Scandinavian bands. KOC do to music what Andrew Wyeth do to paintings.

Five Most Kick-Butt Characters in a Book

Hahaha..I resist on using the a-word, in order to be politically correct.

1. Holden Caulfield in ‘The Catcher in the Rye’

This is one demented guy. He’s just mad at and pissed off by everything in this world. Well, despite the profane language and elusive cursing, I think he’s got a point. Some of his thoughts are also v.v. quote-worthy (e.g.‘I’m kind of paranoid in reverse, I suspect people of plotting to make me happy’; ‘every dumb moron hates it when you call them dumb moron’). And I think it’s very sweet that the only person whose gut isn’t hated by him is his little sister.

2. Christopher Boone in ‘The Curios Incident of the Dog in the Night Time’

Even though he’s autistic, I think he’s able to explain human relationship in the extent that can not mustered by us, un-autistics.

3. Garry Boone in ‘Dogs Don’t Tell Jokes’

He’s this self-deprecating jester who just doesn’t get the idea of social-climbing in junior high. He’s so clueless that it would’ve been funny, if it wasn’t so pathetic.

4. Tyler Durden in ‘Fight Club’

Okay, okay, I admit it. I put him on the list because I have the vision in my mind of a guy named Tyler Durden who has all Brad Pitt’s physical magnetism and Ed Norton’s charisma. I mean, the idea!

5. Becky Bloomwood in the ‘Shoppaholic’ series

Reading the series is almost like reading my personal diary (if I actually keep a diary, that is). Well, except for the part where she met Luke Brandon (sigh!). This is the woman who managed to rationalize and justify shoppaholicism. All her explanations are flawless and cannot be refuted by any psychological dogma. And for that, I adore her. Thanks Becky, now I won’t feel so guilty for spending a fortune on a pair of shoes. (hahahahha…Yeah right!)

Five Things I Miss Doing

They’re actually just some simple things in life. And it’s not that I’m so busy that there isn’t any spare time for me. For one thing and other, I just seldom manage to find a chance to do these things lately.

1. Drawing with crayons

Oh, I crave the coloring cramps. You know, when your fingers are stuck in the form of a claw after gripping the crayons for hours. And also the delightful smell of wax in the crayon. It always reminds me of my childhood years, when I was still obsessed about being a Disney’s cartoonist (hahaha..I miss those days).

2. Reading a good book

I read a lot these days, alright. But none of the things I read are anyway entertaining. Actually they’re very dreadful and quite unbearable, if it wasn’t for the deadlines. I miss being lost inside a good read; holding my breath and at the same time eager to start a new page. I usually kept a list of books to read but now I just lost track of it.

3. Impulsive Shopping

It’s my financial condition that stops me from doing this. And Bandung isn’t actually the place to shop, anyway. There isn’t much going on here, fashion-wise.

4. Decorating my room

When I was still staying at my previous place, the wall of my room was covered with pictures and crafty things that I made. But now, let alone decorating, I barely have the time (and okay I admit it, the desire) to clean up my rooms on a regular basis.

5. Cooking

Yes, I cook. . I usually cook when I’m at home during the holiday season. No gourmet or fine cuisine, I must admit (But not instant noodle and egg either) I like cooking meals that require a lot of steps in the making. And especially if they’re made of pasta. Made a lot of mess in the kitchen but the results were usually worth-while.

Five Songs with MSG Effect

Yes, MSG as in mono sodium glutamate the flavor enhancer. These songs enhance all the feeling I’m having by at least twofold. I just love singing along to these five, especially when I’m having an emotional turmoil (like now). And “singing along” here is not howling the melody on the top of one’s lung. More like humming the words semi-absent-mindedly. And eating all of those words in whole without digesting them first. And feeling that unmistakable pang of silence stirring inside my heart.

I think the idea is to enhance those feeling to their maximum intensity. To really feel, understand, rationalize and finally let those feeling go. Or at least make myself numb enough not to be bothered by those feeling anymore. HAHA!

Either way, they never fail to work their magic. Different potions for different kinds of commotion.

1. Mr. Curiosity – Jason Mraz

The words:

“This catastrophic event wasn’t meant to mean no harm

but to think that it’s nothing wrong is the problem

I’m looking for love this time, sounding hopeful but it’s making me cry

Trying not to ask why

Cause love is a mystery

Mr. curiosity

Be Mr. please

Do come and find me

Love is blinding when the timing's never right

Oh who am I to beg for difference

Finding love in just an instant

Well I don't mind, at least I've tried

Well I tried, I tried...”

What it is about (in my opinion):

Somewhere between ‘taking care of the cat’ and ‘the bitterness of having tried to find love and failed’. I’m always completely at lost with Jason Mraz’s lyrics.

Why it is intense:

I don’t even know what it means, yet every word sounds as if they’re my own

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

‘The agony of not being in love’ as my friend Stella so aptly put it.

2. Still fighting it – Ben Folds

The words:

“It was pain, sunny days and rain

I knew you’d feel the same thing

Everybody knows it hurts to grow up

but everybody does, so weird to be back here

and let me tell you that the years go on

and we’re still fighting it and we’re still fighting it and

you’re so much like me

i’m sorry..”

What it is about (in my opinion):

Definitely not about teenage angst and the toll of adolescence (the chorus is a bit misleading). Maybe about the guilt and bittersweet feeling of seeing someone that you really care about is going through all the mess this life is. And somewhat seeing your own self reflected on that someone.

Why it is intense:

:-‘(

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

All of them.

3. Silence is easy – Starsailor

The words:

“Silence is easy, it just becomes me,

you don't even know me, why lie about me.

Silence is easy, it just becomes me,

you don't even know me, why do you hate me”

What it is about (in my opinion):

About seeking sanctity in silence

Why it is intense:

Because silence is in NO way easy. It’s anything but.

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

The sick-and-tired-ness of dwelling in silence

4. It’s not the end of the world? – Super Furry Animals

The words:

“Why?
When you fall asleep
Before the end of the day
You start to worry
Like when the taxi comes
To take you away
When you're in no hurry
Yet as our hair turns white
All the stars still shine so bright, above
At least
It's not the end of the world”

What it is about (in my opinion):

the cliché itself : ‘it’s not the end of the world’.

Why it is intense:

because it doesn’t sounds like a cliché

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

The fallacy of hope (sometimes).

5. Fallen – Sarah Mclachlan

“Heaven bend to take my hand

And lead me through the fire

Be the long awaited answer

To a long and painful fight

…

But we carry on our back, the burden

Time always reveals

In the lonely light of morning

In the wound that would not heal

It's the bitter taste of losing everything

that I've held so dear...”

What it is about (in my opinion):

MY LIFE..hahahaha

Why it is intense:

It’s Sarah Mclachlan. All her songs are intense.

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

The awareness that I have fallen, sunk so low, messed up and should’ve known better.