Five Reasons why Boxer is the best Dog in the ‘hood

Boxer has been my family’s pet dog for more than 10 yrs now. Make no mistake people, he’s NOT a Boxer-breed. He’s just a ‘village’ dog J We gave him the name ‘Boxer’ for some stupid reason too tedious to mention here. He can do those dog tricks like ‘sit’, ‘roll over’, ‘play dead’, ‘stand on hind legs’ or ‘be quiet’, but not on command.

He ain’t no Lassie, but he is not a bad family dog...

1. He’s cheap

Literally and metaphorically speaking. My dad bought him in a Chinese food restaurant (don’t ask) for only Rp 10.000, about 10 years ago. Do you know what Golden Ret or a Schitzu will cost you? Well, certainly more than Rp 10.000. And Boxer acts like the cheap dog he is. He eats anything that is..(ummm I was about to say ‘edible’ there, but I guess ‘karet gelang’ would fall in to that category, would it?). Well, he eats anything, period. No need for those nutritious-omega-three-gingko-biloba canned dog food!

2. He’s phat

No, actually I mean Fat. Plump. Corpulent. Chubby. Stout. Heavy. Obese. Large. And he’s not tall either. He’s kinda like a big salami with legs and head. Which is a good good thing because if he’s tall and skinny then he would look like that generic ‘kampung’ dog. That’s why I used to secretly feed him with left over Christmas cookies (his fave is cheese castengels). At least people were misguided when they first saw him, thinking that he’s a foreign-breed dog (and there’s also this one time when someone mistaken him as a pig).

3. He barks quite convincingly

Well at least if you don’t see him. He really doesn’t look like a guard dog, seriously. I once saw on TV, this show about guard dogs. There’s this guy whose dogs has won numerous best-in-show awards telling the viewer the physical feature of a good guard dog. Straight and sturdy legs. When the dogs stands on its 4 feet, seen from the side its back is supposed to be a straight line. Pointy-instead-of-floppy ears. Negate all those features and you can pretty much describe Boxer. At least the bark makes up for the physical flaws.

4. He buries his treasure for future emergencies, just in case. SMART!

Which is not exactly a good idea, since ‘treasure’ here refers to loaves of bread that my sis tossed at him when she ‘has no time’ to feed him the proper meal. He doesn’t actually like bread but maybe he think he may want to eat them one day, so he normally buries them. Usually the day after, we would find him chewing his jaws off, struggling to eat a dirt-covered loaf of bread. We don’t know whether to feel pity or mad at him.

5. He has never bitten me, ever.

While it’s only mandatory for other (more intelligent) dogs not to bite their master, I’m actually proud of the fact that Box has never intentionally bitten me. This is because there’s actually a not-so-short list of his victims. I know that I should worry about the aggressive behavior, but I’m still happy for not being on that list. Well, who says that happiness isn’t relative?