CinQ!

Truly A Classic!

2007-03-23T04:30:00.000-07:00

I've never been much of a true believer for lists which titles begin with "10 Greatest.." or "100 Best..", especially after Vogue's '10 best dressed on Oscar red carpet' includes Nicole Kidman and the horrifyingly red dress with its horrifyingly red gigantic neck ribbon. i mean, what the heck?? Anyway...i stumbled upon the list of '100 best film of all time' in one of my brother's film literature. To some of the entries I absolutely agree, but there are many entries to which i literally beg to differ. The thing about such lists is that they just piss you off in a certain level and makes you really want to make your own list.

Due to ADHD, i cannot collect myself enough to put down a 100 items list. Behold the power of laziness i.e. here's my 5 items list:

1. Singin in the Rain (1952)
I just love love lurveeee this musical! I think it beats the crap out of 'the Sound of Music' in this imaginary battle for the title 'best musical in hollywood history'. Singin in the Rain has all the everyone-is-so-unexplainably-happy quality that a musical should have, minus the creepy slash annoying pug-faced Von Trapp kids (I still can't get over that they try to pass the eldest daughter as a 16 YEARS OLD..nay, an INNOCENT NAIVE 16 YEARS OLD THAT NEEDS SOMEONE TO DEPEND ON. Haksss...she looks old enough to be the mother!). Anyhooo..Singin in the Rain! the title itself represents the true merit of this film: being happy despite whatever crap happens in life! I love all the tracks, and the dances (v.v.precise to an almost mechanical-extent yet graceful), and the wardrobe (those wonderful dresses in the 'Beautiful Girl scene!), and the set...and of course the story. Everything is so vibrant, lucid and Technicolor. This movie has the ultimate feel-good atmosphere that it's so hard to believe that the cast didn't get along together behind the scene. Gene Kelly turned out to be angelic-heartthrob on screen and bossy-tyrant in real life. But I think he made it up with that monumental title scene: he was having an almost-40-Celcius-degrees FEVER during the take and still able to nail the scene.

2. The Hustler (1961)
Upon completion of this movie, I have to admit that I haven't completely grasp the concept/philosophy of hustling. It's one of those make-you-ponder film, but the most memorable thing about this film is of course the pool room scene: the marathon between Fast Eddie and Minnesota Fats in the poolroom, condensed with smoke and tension. AND how can Paul Newman still convey his whimsical blue-eyes charm in this black and white movie?? I think his character is very interesting; he's got the look and also the edge. Definitely not the typical pretty boy out to save the world, Eddie Felson's like a pendulum swinging from the 'faithful lover wanting to repent from gambling habit' to 'cocky pool shark just wanting to show the world that he's da thing and just screw everything else'. His battle within between the good and the bad is very subtle and keeps viewer guessing who will win (in addition to the actual feud between Eddie and Fats). In the end, nobody really wins.

3. Sunset Boulevard (1950)
While Singin in the Rain is a very sunny (ehh..pun not intended) take of the transition from silent movies to talkies happening in Hollywood, Sunset Boulevard is sitting on the other extreme. It's a v.v.v.noir story about the aftermath: has-been silent-movie starlet who's lives in the past and anxious for her comeback (or 'return' as she said), which apparent to everyone but her, is not going to happen. Her disillusionment is almost painful to watch, poignantly tragic yet it's not her body that ended up floating on the swimming fool. Every corner in Norma Desmond's mansion is drenched with this somewhat putrid Hollywood glory. Among the cast, even though it's William Holden who after all made it to the '10 Greatest Actor of all Time' (here we go again with the lists..), it's Gloria Swanson who successfully ruled every scene. Despite her neurotic over-dramatizing persona and kooky facial expression (her glaring to the camera that ending scene is almost haunting!), she makes us 'feel' the pain of being forgotten but not yet gone.

4. Cool Hand Luke (1968)
Another Paul Newman piece :)) A rather beatnik spirited story about finding purpose of your life and finally getting this 'epiphany' that maybe there is no purpose. It really is depressing when you think of it and I really gasped when Luke got shot by The Boss, after all the painful struggle and those happy moments with following prisoners....but the epilogue by Dragline really somehow made it all worth-while...I suppose! Actually I'm still questioning "WHYYY? whyy wouldn’t the wardens give him a break??(sob sob) he's not a serial killer, he just cut off a parking meter during a drunken night...he's really a good person, he (sob sob) loves his Ma and he gives hope (sob sob) to his friend". But I guess that's what the Beat generation is all about, beats me (although this film is actually from a different era with, say, Kerouac's 'On the Road'). Anyway...I really admire Paul Newman for his always-earnest depiction of cool-as-ice character who is actually having a battle within. The most interesting part is the egg eating contest and continued to the scene when Luke found out that his mother has passed away. Normally, I would definitely crack up giggling and let out a 'blattt!' every time someone in a film, out of sorrow and misery, start strumming his guitar (or banjo!) and start singing. I usually find it very artificial and 'sinetron bgt!', but this scene serves as an exception.

5. Annie Hall (1977)
Probably the most accomplished Woody Allen's work, this film got me at the first scene:
Alvy Singer: [addressing the camera] There's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know; and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life - full of loneliness, and misery, and suffering, and unhappiness, and it's all over much too quickly. The... the other important joke, for me, is one that's usually attributed to Groucho Marx; but, I think it appears originally in Freud's "Wit and Its Relation to the Unconscious," and it goes like this - I'm paraphrasing - um, "I would never want to belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life, in terms of my relationships with women.
Enough said! :D I never knew that one can develop such deep empathy to a little, sweaty, obsessive, neurotic, skittish man.

Un-finished list of Classics that everyone cant stop talking and praising about but surprisingly I found them to be very annoying:
1. Citizen Kane: yeahh even if everybody boo me and call me the most uncultured hillbilly, it won’t change my mind: I'm profoundly annoyed by this movie! I can't even endure further than the iconic 'Rosebud' OPENING scene. It's all too neurotically intense.
2. Bringing up Baby: I just don't get it. What's so funny about an annoying stubborn histreonic woman and a supposedly-smart-but-actually-seems-a-bit-annoyingly-dim-witted man making a big fuss about an annoying leopard?

Another un-finished list about classics that I haven’t finished watching but definitely will try to:

Breakfast at Tiffany’s – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid – Sophie’s Choice - Buster Keaton's works - Fellini's works…

Whoa! I really need a movie fix!

To long for..

2007-02-11T22:14:00.000-08:00

after receiving an email and a series of offline messages from 2 friends (after here being more of a causal conjunction, rather than a chronological one), suddenly this song popped up in my mind, and most probably will be lingering there for the rest of the day

Homesick

I lose some sales
and my boss won't be happy
but I can't stop listening to the sound
of two soft voices blended in perfection
from the reels of this record that I found

every day there's a boy in the mirror
asking me
what are you doing here
finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear

I traveled far and I burned all the bridges
I believed as soon as I hit land
all the other
options held before me
will wither in the light of my plan

so I lose some sales
and my boss won't be happy
but there's only one thing on my mind
searching boxes underneath the counter
on a chance that on a tape I'd find

a song for
someone who needs somewhere
to long for

homesick
cause I no longer know
where home is

:'(

Silver lining on the cloudy Jakarta sky

2007-02-08T02:23:00.000-08:00

List of 5 annoying events during flood in Jakarta would be expected and unchallenging. In the spirit of seeing the glass half full (and seeing the water level in Pintu Air Manggarai as half emptyJ), I roamed about every corner of my soon-to-be-repressed memory (you know, the Freudian defense mechanism against unpleasant/traumatic memory) of the 5-days-flood and proudly wrote down these mementos. Yes people, I, the self-acclaimed cynic has managed to find five good things during the 5 days flood (from this point forward will be dubbed the Flood, note the capital F). This list stood as an evident that self-concept is a very liquid matter.

Swim Boxer, Swim!!
Sorry, cannot resist using the outdated, overused and uncalled for Forrest Gump quote there. Anyway…it has been on my “things that I should know and make a conscious effort to find out about” list for years: Can Boxer Swim? This burning question was finally answered. On the 1st day of Flood, the electricity was cut out and the prospect of TV-less days led us- me sis and me self- to run to Boxer as our main (and sole!) source of entertainment. (Well, we didn’t literally run to him, as sudden movement towards Boxer may lead to a broad range of result, from mild scratch on skin to multiple lacerations; depending on how sudden the movement is and how cranky Boxer is at the moment. You get the idea.). As night creeps and darkness fall, boredom grows increasingly high. Accustomed to prime time sinetrons and nighttime infortainment, we crave for something to make fun of during the night, as television was out. Boxer, the unsuspecting victim, underwent some with-force-but-affectionate poking, ear-pulling and nudge on the behind, courtesy of yours truly. It’s interesting to see how much annoyingness can he put up with, before Boxer snaps and starts being vicious and tooth-y. But the poking has grown old by the 2nd day, so we need to find new ways of keeping ourselves entertained (and sane!). I took the bold decision of conducting the experiment (i.e. tossing Boxer to the water), bearing in mind that dogs naturally can swim (so no harm done here, animal-rights activists can rest assured!). The experiment was conducted twice (adhering to design of experiment principal of replications and repeatability) and both yielded a pleasant result. To say “Boxer can swim” would be an understatement, he is a natural! When we first brought him into the water in the front porch where he can still put his feet on the ground under the water, Boxer is a bit skittish and reluctant. But when we released him to open water, he bravely paddled (with his short, chunky and slightly-bent legs) his way through the almost-waist-deep water and swam towards the other side of road. Albeit his eyes ware “melotot”, the deer-in-head-light expression was constantly in his face (you know, that raised-eyebrow people have after getting Botox shot. Well since dogs have no eyebrow, Boxer has the dog equivalent of that expression), Boxer still made it through the flood! One brave mutt, he is J
OshKosh Re-Surfacing
When I was still in SD, we kept this mysterious black turtle on this fishpond in our back yard. For those of you who couldn’t tell from the look, turtle is not the most playful pet. All OshKosh (as we later called him, for no logical reason) did was ate and stayed in the shade, so I never had any chance for some pet-master bonding/quality time. Which is why I didn’t exactly panic my head off when being told that OshKosh has ran away from the pond (bit of an adventurer/suicidal he is) years ago. Years went by and the memory of OshKosh fluttered away from my mind. Until the 2nd day of Flood, where OshKosh suddenly resurfaced on our backyard (which has turn into some sort of pond itself)!! He poked his little black, yellow-striped, snake-like head out of the water and I can imagine him whispers “Me is still alive!!” in a dragging, low-pitched voice that turtles normally have in cartoons (you know, such as the classic The Hare and The Turtle). All these years, we thought that he no longer exist, all the sorrow and the hole he left in my heart were undone by the sight of his head poking out of the water. No, actually he poked his head to find oxygen to inhale. And I couldn’t care less whether that reptilian creature is still alive. Geez, not even the greatest wordsmith can inject any drama to this mundane non-event.
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Work and tiredness caused by work left no time for me to read. And I really love to read. The dreadfullll, boringggg, droninggg days of Flood gave me puh-lenty of time to be in touch with my literature side (if there is any). The first 100 pages of this Oscar Wilde’s take on Victorian politeness and people’s obsession of youth and superficiality has been read and pondered upon. The interesting (but sometime can be overly scrutinizing) discourses from Lord Henry occupied my mind on those sleepy afternoons, successfully putting a halt (a temporary one, at least) to the obsession about the Flood and the power outage. Normally I would prefer American contemporary literature with its brevity, forthrightness and colloquialism (latest piece read: The Burned Children of America, a collection of short stories by young American authors; compiled by Zadie Smith. Some of the stories are v.v.interesting FYI), but sometimes British somewhat-classic literature is good for the mind, apparently. At parts it can be dragging and overly elaborated and v.v.v.wordy but to put in perspective, Wilde is like a short and snappy conversationalist compared to Shakespeare. And Shakespeare is like the greatest poet/playwright of all time. So I guess wordy equals great. (hahaha what sort of weak syllogism is this??). Another entry on my “things that I should know and make a conscious effort to find out about” list is How to pronounce Wilde? (does one pronounce it with a weak ‘e’ or not? Like when one pronounces Ryan Phillipe as Ryan Phil-e-phee. Mind the cheesy, lame, teeny-bopper-ish choice of example) Resulting from this question is a sub-item on this list: Flood has given me time to look up Encyclopedia Americana and find out that it’s pronounced just like the adjective Wild. Heehehe boring dorkish stuff.
Un-appetizer
The sight of brown water flowing about on your driveway (and let alone the things floating on the water!) isn’t the most appetizing sight of all. Which is why I didn’t eat much (and hopefully lose some weight) during the Flood. That, and because we didn’t have anything to eat anyway. No snacks, no proper breakfast, no fast food deliveries, strictly rice and veggies and whatever’s on the fridge and must be cooked immediately otherwise would rot. EWWW….
Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
Those vacant days, nights, mornings, evenings during the Flood left my mind idle and free to wander. I think events like this, disasters, as the media has declared it, make one re-think about things in life. Family, worldly possession (*halah!*), neighborhood, social classes, environment, nature, and eventually about Life itself. How trivial and profound every matter can seem to be, when put opposite to Life. I find myself stuttered trying to put this thought into words.

FUN as in dysFUNctional

2007-01-25T03:16:00.000-08:00

Favorite “smudged family portraits” of all time

1. Little Miss Sunshine
Issues: denial, lack of empathy, extremes in conflict, emotional intolerance, homosexuality, suicide, substance abuse, role reversal, stifled speech...haha you name it!
It's marvellous how the creators of this film are still able to find something to laugh about, in the midst of all those issues. And i also love how the yellow VW van can serves as the "shrink couch" for each and every member for the Hoovers (and it also serves as grandpa's coffin, yikes!). The trip to LA itself is so loaded with all kinds of stressors (Richard's being frantic over his business, grandpa's inappropriate rants and advices, car horn malfunction, Olive's toilet break) that in the end it's cathartic, nay...therapeutic! .
The character that i love the most is of course Dwayne, with his v.v.impressive speech ending the vow of silence. I also loveee what Frank said to Dwayne ( soon to be known as the "life is a beauty contest" speech, etc), though do not solely agree and let alone apply it (y'know, effing everything else) me-self, i still think it's very insightful of Frank to say such things.

2. The Royal Tenenbaums
Tagline: Family Isn't A Word... It's A Sentence. (hear hear!)
Issues: disrespect, incest, sibling rivalry, inconsistency, "ailment", divorce, abandonment, mental breakdown, adoption, substance abuse, disillusionment
Simply a Wes Anderson classic: offbeat and funny-but-actually-poignant-when-you-think-about-it, quirky cinematography (cinematowhattt??), it has his signature all over, esp. visually. It's v.v.v.typical and stylistic but in a v.v.v.good way though. Of course Bill Murray made an appearance as he is the quintessential epitome of Wes Anderson's spirit (or the exact opposite of 'spirit'..?). All the characters are anti-heroes on which I find so hard to develop any empathy whatsoever, which is exactly why The Royal Tenenbaums made the list.
Accordingly, I don't have any favorite character. But i kinda like Richie Tenenbaum with his kick-ass Bjorn Borg 'do and style.

3. Six Feet Under
Issues: death, neurosis, emotional intolerance, prodigal children, infidelity, homosexuality, abandonment, rebellion, lack of boundaries, juvenile delinquent, abandonment
This TV series has an unblinking focus on death and every episode is opened with a v.v.v.morbid and disturbing death scene. Unquestionably, living in a house where wakes are held in your living room (such irony!) and having a cadaver embalmment metal slab table instead of a ping-pong table in your basement do funny things to your mind. In Fisher's resident, sanity is relative. Every family member is popping right out of family members typology in "dysfunctional family and therapy" textbook. The mother is a seemingly traditional woman who subconsciously torments herself by conforming to social standards and is practically seconds away from having a mental meltdown/crack out. Nate is the standard oldest child who ran away from the family to "have his own life" and forced by the death of his father to take responsibility and the overwhelming-and-very-unfamiliar-to-him role as the head of family. The deceased father himself appears every now and then in Nate's imaginary conversation. Michael is, like most middle child, continuously striving to be perceived as better and distinguished from "the rest". Claire is the artist of the family, unpredictable but actually often misunderstood.
My favorite character is of course Claire. Psychology theories on projection and internalization definitely apply here. Enough said :)

4. What's Eating Gilbert Grape
Tagline: "Life is a terrible thing to sleep through"
Issues: suicide, mental retardation, social dysfunction or isolation, obesity, caretaker child, role reversal, little-town burnout, coping with change
Starring:
Johnny Depp, before his i'm-so-not-mainstream (-unlike-that-stupid-sell-out-brad-pitt-guy-)can’t-you-see-my-funny-fedora-hats-and-tacky-shades-and-annoying-facial-hair-but-check-this-out-i-make-great-dough-by-doing-out-keith-richards-in-a-blockbuster-disney's-summer-flick-sequel (attention Mr.Depp: summer, disney, sequel..spell: SELL OUT) days
Leonardo DiCaprio before he's deluded by Scorsese (evil bushy-brows man..hehe kidding) to believe that he's the 2nd DeNiro.
It's v.v.v.refreshing to see two mere cutesy pin-up boys busting their butts to prove that they are otherwise *and they succeeded, at least to me :)* The whole plot itself is a bit cliche and i find the little hillbilly town background to be more dreamy rather than depressing. Nevertheless, i love the resolution at the end and it's a feel-good movie, a rare quality seldom found in dysfunctional family films.
My fave character is of course Arnie ("where not going anywhere Gilbert!!" :)

5. The Sound and The Fury
Issues: closed family system, ailment, mental retardation, racialism, incest, out-of-marriage pregnancy, suicide, sibling rivalry, pride, suicide, isolation
The most interesting 'feature' of this Faulkner's most well known piece is the various point-of-views. The 1st part is written from Benji's point of view. It contains childhood memory, cut-edited and definitely not told in logical nor chronological order. The next part is from Quentin’s, equally scattered but definitely more complex. A collection of horrid memories strung together in a suicidal mind, v.v.v.depressing. Just when you think nothing can upset you more, the 3rd part is coming from Jason. I hate him personally, with all his sexist remarks and domestic violent and all. All in all, the Compsons are dysfunctional in a way that cannot be compared to other families in this list. They truly depress me.
My fave character? Hmm probably Quentin (Caddie’s daughter). A good idea for daughter name (hahaha that is sooo remote)

ooh.ooh..I’ve just remembered about another one..a v.v.v. good one, so good that it's able to sneak its way into a five-item list:

6. Franny and Zooey
Issues: prodigal children, religion, finding God, sibling rivalry, suicide, role reversal
“Franny and Zooey” speaks about the same things as its successor to whose shadow it finally subsided to, Catcher in the Rye: angst and intellectual insecurity. While Holden’s angst is one from adolescence’s toll (“blindfolded”, taking aim at everyone in this whole universe, except Phoebe that is), Franny’s more of an intellectual one. She asked the big questions in life while Holden has already figured out a satisfying “answer”, which is not bothering to ask the question in the first place. As always, Salinger’s piece is quote-worthy. My favorite is the one about how family members communicate to each other: “ a semantic geometry in which the closest distance of two points is a nearly-full circle” (or something like that, excuse me for not having verbatim memory). It really resonates within me, that line. I also think that it’s interesting, how Salinger chose to depict the “wise children” as frail, intellectually ‘challenged’ beings rather than that stereotypical rocket science kind of whiz kid.
My favorite character: definitely, most definitely: Zooey a.k.a. Zachary Glass. Who can resist a smart (no, genius!) AND good looking actor, who is not full of himself AND cares about his family?

Five Things I'd be Better Off Doing

2006-08-15T04:08:00.000-07:00

..rather that writing useless entries, rummaging up my friend's i-tunes collection, and poring over a cheesy tabloid

1. Working on my Final Project!
2. ...
...
well that' s it, actually
Yes people, my super-ego triumphed (theoritically, at least) over my id and ego in the battle of inner Freudian self!!

now back to work

Five Have-You-Been-Readin-My-Diary-slash-Read-'Em-And-Weep?? Songs

2006-08-15T03:37:00.000-07:00

well IF i hypothetically have one (diary), that is

some times others speak my mind more eloquently, aptly, and (sigh!) honestly than me myself.

1. Vienna- Billy Joel
2. Homesick - KoC
3. Move along - All American Rejects
4. There is - Box Car Racer
5. Maybe tomorrow - Stereophonics

"fun" (not really) fact:
while pasting hyperlinks for this entry, i stumbled into a section in the web page:

Visitors interested in Dashboard Confessional Lyrics may also interested in:
Atreyu Lyrics / Gorillaz Lyrics / Incubus Lyrics /Marilyn Manson Lyrics /Weezer Lyrics
Weird Al Yankovic Lyrics /Robbie Williams Lyrics / Tim McGraw Lyrics / Guns N' Roses Lyrics
Lindsay Lohan Lyrics /Jeff Buckley Lyrics / Keane Lyrics / Jojo Lyrics / Muse Lyrics / Relient K Lyrics
Sum 41 Lyrics / A Perfect Circle Lyrics / Dave Matthews Band and Dave Matthews Lyrics /Blue Lyrics
Shakira Lyrics / Offspring Lyrics / Oasis Lyrics / H.I.M. (His Infernal Majesty) Lyrics / Hanson Lyrics
Madonna Lyrics / The Beatles Lyrics / Celine Dion Lyrics / Martina McBride Lyrics /Toby Keith Lyrics
Whitney Houston Lyrics

well, they got 9 right out of 30..not bad
bytheway, the thought of someone listening to both Lindsay Lohan and Marilyn Manson..hmm interesting...

Lost in the Beauty of It All

2006-07-06T02:32:00.000-07:00

Jane: What was amazing about it?
Ricky: When you see something like that, it's like God is looking right at you, just for a second. And if you're careful, you can look right back.
Jane: And what do you see?
Ricky: Beauty.
--- taken from the american beauty

i watched this documentary show about tigers in africa.. the expedition team took two tigers to the beach, hoping that there would be enough water for the tigers to live there. they were also accompanied by a bushman native as their 'navigator'.

when they arrived at the beach, the tigers was rathered err..sheepish being so near to the water and having their fur soaked.
while the bushman guy, who has never before seen the ocean in his life, stood still in awe for a few minutes.

later he said that he "can not understand how there can be so many water, how the water (waves) can be so noisy, how the water can be so alive, one wave reach your knee and the other one is already coming your way"
and he also said " i can not understand how God Almighty can make it so beautiful and big"

for a reason unknown but not unfamiliar to me, i started to get goosebump and starry-eyes the moment i watched that scene. it was so honest and yet so profound.

well enuff said, here are some images in which i was lost for a moment.

images courtesy of flickr

Random thought #1 (collect all Five!)

2006-05-19T23:00:00.000-07:00

I’m not even remotely capable of making music. But I think that it would’ve been super-cool* if I can pour this unworthy turmoil (which by the way has been around for quite a while that I start to think that it has successfully transformed into a permanent state of mind instead of a temporary commotion that it’s supposed to be) into a song.

Maybe it will sound less stupid if I disguised all the obvious meaning by use of poetic and rhyming words. Maybe people will even think that it’s a beautiful song, although they may not understand what it actually means. Like Jewel’s songs, prior to that one with the video where she started to dance and dress cheap and pose and take beauty shots and practically lose her mind. While that formula is quintessential for a manufactured pop star like Jessica Simpson, it was a career suicide for Jewel.

Where was I? Oh yeah, writing a song. Here’s a title that keeps popping up into my mind like an annoying err..pop-up window **.

“I should’ve keyed your car”

It has a nice ring into it, does it? I imagined that the sound of this song would be somewhat a mixture of Liz Phair meets Fall Out Boys meets Radiohead circa ok computer, with a touch of Ben Folds’ smart-mouthed-ness. Hearing the song for the 1st time, people would think that it’s about quasi-vandalism as an outlet for teenage angst. But then when they listen to it, they would realize actually that the song has nothing to do with teenage angst. Maybe it’s about something more profound but equally impulsive.

This song will be the title track of my first EP. The other tracks in the EP would be my own rendition of the Carpenter’s Desperado and Sum 41’s Fat Lip. It would top the chart of Rolling Stones for about 3 weeks before being knocked over by Tori Amos’ new album (consider it as a dignified defeat). And then Jason Mraz would start to make references about me on his site. Hehehe...

* do you know what’s NOT super-cool? The phrase super-cool itself. (and in fact it’s actually down-right lame)
** please excuse the uncreative choice of analogy

Make a smoothie

2006-05-19T22:56:00.001-07:00

Here’s how you can make a sure-fire-turmoil-inflicting smoothie to start your day with:

Ingredients:
½ cup semi-solid attraction
1 handful fresh curiosity
½ frozen-superficiality
4 cubes constant-questioning
1 pinch animosity

Instruction
Mix all ingredients in a blender at full speed. Blend until you get such consistent mix that you cannot tell apart one ingredient from the others (because they all have become one!). Best served chilled.
Serves for one.

For those of you who love smoothie (and must be both experimental and reckless enough to try out a recipe from a non-recipe blog), you can actually make a DELICIOUS strawberry-banana-morning smoothie by replacing the ingredients above with, respectively: plain yoghurt, strawberry, Cavendish banana - cut into half, ice cube, low-calories sweetener (in case you have a sweet tooth. Personally I like mine unsweetened).
Follow the instruction instinctively and kindly inform me on what you think about the smoothie.
Smoothie recipe courtesy of my sis.

The Importance of Being Idle

2006-05-19T22:56:00.000-07:00

I started to gain the title “Idle Girl” among friends and fellow 4th level dwellers (not that I’m proud of it). There’s quite a towering pile of things to do, but as slacker-ism triumphs over common sense, I managed to dodge and do nothing instead.

Actually I don’t believe the concept of ‘doing nothing’ because even when you’re not doing anything significantly of use, you’re still doing something. Whether it’s just daydreaming or just simply being absent-minded, it is still a thing you’re doing, isn’t it?

Here are 5 idle favorite activities (paradoxical eh?) of the moment.
1. Being in good company of classmates 2002
Is it just me or this week IS the best week ever? It’s the last week of class of 2002’s ‘final’ semester. Yes, it has been 4 years now. Unbelievable. And soon it’s coming to an end.
Suddenly every conversation is 10 times more interesting.
Every joke is 10 times funnier.
Every friendship is 10 times more cherished.
Every moment is 10 times more treasured.
And every minute is passing 10 times faster.
Maybe I’m just over-dramatizing time. Maybe it truly is the end of an era. OH! I’m SO going to miss these days.

2. Contemplating
Borrowing a term so abundantly used by two of my friends Viar and Igun.(How they can contemplate with all those monoxide, tar and toxins in their lungs, brains and blood is just beyond me:). Actually it’s just a fancy word that has the same meaning as ‘overanalyzing’:
Trying to find/bring/conjure meaning from every little (and big) thing that happened in one’s life.
Trying to figure out the mechanics in which all these intertwining components and events are interacting with one another.
Trying to make the most use from one’s linear and confined mind to comprehend life whilst it is not meant to be comprehensible.
Does believing in ‘nothing in life is a coincidence’ means that one has to know the reason why the non-coincidence has to happen in the 1st place?
Overanalyzing can bring revelation and agony at the same time. I take the chances and always succumb to the temptation of doing it over and over again. And lately everything that happened in my life is becoming more and more inexplicable.

3. Browsing illustration blogs/websites
I am obsessed of illustrations, especially those on children book. Growing up attached to pictorial books, I still carry around the vivid images from those books in the back of my mind somewhere. Those are among the most beautiful pictures I’ve seen in my life. Of course, there are also Wyeths, Degas’, Hoppers, et cetera et cetera..but somehow those picture retain a special place in my mind and also my heart. That’s why I’m also obsessed of being a children book illustrator. It’s almost overwhelming to think that my illustration can linger forever in a child’s mind for years and years after the printed pages became yellowish and decayed.

4. Reading Jason Mraz’s On Line Journal
I heart Jason Mraz. I truly do. Bearing the risk of sounding like a cheesy teeny bopper who subscribes to Teen People and Tigerbeat, I hereby declare that in a public space.

5. Bickering
I know, I know..such a bad habit, it is. My only excuse would be: Turmoil needs an outlet, sooner or later. But I feel sorry for my v.v.v.v.patient friends who have endured my endless bickering. Apologize for that, guys! I will try my best to be less whiny in the future.

Footnote:
The super-ego version of this list would be (i.e. the things I would be better off doing):
Working on final year project
Working on simulation assignment
Working on business plan assignment
Working on after-graduate plan
Working on self actualization and inner peace
GULP!! They all begin with “working on”!!

STOP PRESS: mr curiosity

2006-05-08T00:50:00.000-07:00

haha..i just get it..
"you took care of the cat already.."
it refers to the old saying "curiosity killed the cat"
hehehhe..
not the brightest of them all, i am
hehehe

Five Musicians That I Want My First Album to Sound Like

2006-05-03T02:44:00.000-07:00

I don’t think I will ever have any album, EVER. Those who have gone to karaoke with me would probably know what I’m saying.

Renee Olstead

I just adore her voice. It’s sultry but not too sultry. She has good technique but that’s not the only thing that she relies on. She sounds so much older than her age, and I mean it in a v.v.v.good way. And I like her music, too. It has a vintage note to it and not many artists make that kind of music these days. She successfully pulled off all these old numbers which was originally recorded about 30 years before she was even born.

Ben Folds

The thing with all of Ben’s songs is that you’ll never know where it’ll go, line after line. It’s not like those cheesy pop songs in which you can figure out what the chorus, the bridge and the ending would sound like as soon as you listen to the first verse. I think his piano melodies are truly one of a kind, at least in these modern days. (One of his influences is Jerry Lee Lewis). And also his lyrics. You can listen to his song for so many times, and it has a different meaning each time you listen to it.

Alicia Keys

Some of her lyrics are actually a bit mushy-mushy, but she can sing it without sounding ..well, mushy-mushy. I think it’s because she’s so soulful that it sound like she really means those words. And her vocal range is also quite remarkable. She can hit all the high notes without sounding as annoying as Mariah.

Fall Out Boys

They’re just another perfect evident that being a loser in high school makes you a good musician, later in your life as a grown up. All those teenage angst, bottled up inside for years, waiting for a channel to come out. It’s just like fine wine, the longer it’s been kept, the better it gets.

Kings of Convenience

I just love they serene, tranquil sound. It’s such a signature of Scandinavian bands. KOC do to music what Andrew Wyeth do to paintings.

Five Most Kick-Butt Characters in a Book

2006-05-02T22:30:00.004-07:00

Hahaha..I resist on using the a-word, in order to be politically correct.

Holden Caulfield in ‘The Catcher in the Rye’

This is one demented guy. He’s just mad at and pissed off by everything in this world. Well, despite the profane language and elusive cursing, I think he’s got a point. Some of his thoughts are also v.v. quote-worthy (e.g.‘I’m kind of paranoid in reverse, I suspect people of plotting to make me happy’; ‘every dumb moron hates it when you call them dumb moron’). And I think it’s very sweet that the only person whose gut isn’t hated by him is his little sister.

Christopher Boone in ‘The Curios Incident of the Dog in the Night Time’

Even though he’s autistic, I think he’s able to explain human relationship in the extent that can not mustered by us, un-autistics.

Garry Boone in ‘Dogs Don’t Tell Jokes’

He’s this self-deprecating jester who just doesn’t get the idea of social-climbing in junior high. He’s so clueless that it would’ve been funny, if it wasn’t so pathetic.

Tyler Durden in ‘Fight Club’

Okay, okay, I admit it. I put him on the list because I have the vision in my mind of a guy named Tyler Durden who has all Brad Pitt’s physical magnetism and Ed Norton’s charisma. I mean, the idea!

Becky Bloomwood in the ‘Shoppaholic’ series

Reading the series is almost like reading my personal diary (if I actually keep a diary, that is). Well, except for the part where she met Luke Brandon (sigh!). This is the woman who managed to rationalize and justify shoppaholicism. All her explanations are flawless and cannot be refuted by any psychological dogma. And for that, I adore her. Thanks Becky, now I won’t feel so guilty for spending a fortune on a pair of shoes. (hahahahha…Yeah right!)

Five Things I Miss Doing

2006-05-02T22:30:00.003-07:00

They’re actually just some simple things in life. And it’s not that I’m so busy that there isn’t any spare time for me. For one thing and other, I just seldom manage to find a chance to do these things lately.

Drawing with crayons

Oh, I crave the coloring cramps. You know, when your fingers are stuck in the form of a claw after gripping the crayons for hours. And also the delightful smell of wax in the crayon. It always reminds me of my childhood years, when I was still obsessed about being a Disney’s cartoonist (hahaha..I miss those days).

Reading a good book

I read a lot these days, alright. But none of the things I read are anyway entertaining. Actually they’re very dreadful and quite unbearable, if it wasn’t for the deadlines. I miss being lost inside a good read; holding my breath and at the same time eager to start a new page. I usually kept a list of books to read but now I just lost track of it.

Impulsive Shopping

It’s my financial condition that stops me from doing this. And Bandung isn’t actually the place to shop, anyway. There isn’t much going on here, fashion-wise.

Decorating my room

When I was still staying at my previous place, the wall of my room was covered with pictures and crafty things that I made. But now, let alone decorating, I barely have the time (and okay I admit it, the desire) to clean up my rooms on a regular basis.

Cooking

Yes, I cook. . I usually cook when I’m at home during the holiday season. No gourmet or fine cuisine, I must admit (But not instant noodle and egg either) I like cooking meals that require a lot of steps in the making. And especially if they’re made of pasta. Made a lot of mess in the kitchen but the results were usually worth-while.

2006-05-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

Five Songs with MSG Effect

Yes, MSG as in mono sodium glutamate the flavor enhancer. These songs enhance all the feeling I’m having by at least twofold. I just love singing along to these five, especially when I’m having an emotional turmoil (like now). And “singing along” here is not howling the melody on the top of one’s lung. More like humming the words semi-absent-mindedly. And eating all of those words in whole without digesting them first. And feeling that unmistakable pang of silence stirring inside my heart.

I think the idea is to enhance those feeling to their maximum intensity. To really feel, understand, rationalize and finally let those feeling go. Or at least make myself numb enough not to be bothered by those feeling anymore. HAHA!

Either way, they never fail to work their magic. Different potions for different kinds of commotion.

1. Mr. Curiosity – Jason Mraz

The words:

“This catastrophic event wasn’t meant to mean no harm

but to think that it’s nothing wrong is the problem

I’m looking for love this time, sounding hopeful but it’s making me cry

Trying not to ask why

Cause love is a mystery

Mr. curiosity

Be Mr. please

Do come and find me

Love is blinding when the timing's never right

Oh who am I to beg for difference

Finding love in just an instant

Well I don't mind, at least I've tried

Well I tried, I tried...”

What it is about (in my opinion):

Somewhere between ‘taking care of the cat’ and ‘the bitterness of having tried to find love and failed’. I’m always completely at lost with Jason Mraz’s lyrics.

Why it is intense:

I don’t even know what it means, yet every word sounds as if they’re my own

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

‘The agony of not being in love’ as my friend Stella so aptly put it.

2. Still fighting it – Ben Folds

The words:

“It was pain, sunny days and rain

I knew you’d feel the same thing

Everybody knows it hurts to grow up

but everybody does, so weird to be back here

and let me tell you that the years go on

and we’re still fighting it and we’re still fighting it and

you’re so much like me

i’m sorry..”

What it is about (in my opinion):

Definitely not about teenage angst and the toll of adolescence (the chorus is a bit misleading). Maybe about the guilt and bittersweet feeling of seeing someone that you really care about is going through all the mess this life is. And somewhat seeing your own self reflected on that someone.

Why it is intense:

:-‘(

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

All of them.

3. Silence is easy – Starsailor

The words:

“Silence is easy, it just becomes me,

you don't even know me, why lie about me.

Silence is easy, it just becomes me,

you don't even know me, why do you hate me”

What it is about (in my opinion):

About seeking sanctity in silence

Why it is intense:

Because silence is in NO way easy. It’s anything but.

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

The sick-and-tired-ness of dwelling in silence

4. It’s not the end of the world? – Super Furry Animals

The words:

“Why?
When you fall asleep
Before the end of the day
You start to worry
Like when the taxi comes
To take you away
When you're in no hurry
Yet as our hair turns white
All the stars still shine so bright, above
At least
It's not the end of the world”

What it is about (in my opinion):

the cliché itself : ‘it’s not the end of the world’.

Why it is intense:

because it doesn’t sounds like a cliché

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

The fallacy of hope (sometimes).

5. Fallen – Sarah Mclachlan

“Heaven bend to take my hand

And lead me through the fire

Be the long awaited answer

To a long and painful fight

…

But we carry on our back, the burden

Time always reveals

In the lonely light of morning

In the wound that would not heal

It's the bitter taste of losing everything

that I've held so dear...”

What it is about (in my opinion):

MY LIFE..hahahaha

Why it is intense:

It’s Sarah Mclachlan. All her songs are intense.

The turmoil-inflicting feeling(s) that it enhances:

The awareness that I have fallen, sunk so low, messed up and should’ve known better.

Five Most Favorite On-Line Visual Instant Gratification

2006-04-30T23:54:00.001-07:00

Caution: for those who just love the beauty in visual form, i must warn you that these sites/blogs are ticking timebomb. You can lost hours,days,weeks viewing them. Seriously.

1. www.sbritt.com
2. www.jo-brown.co.uk
3. www.loobylu.com
4. wardomatic.blogspot.com
5. the ultimate www.flickr.com

addictive as they are, i think they should be banned during this july and august '06 ("peak season" for those who wants to graduate on september..hehe)

Five Most Favorite Citizens of Bikini Bottom

2006-04-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

Squidward – the resident voluntary-social-outcast

I’m not just trying to be unorthodox here, by not putting the title character on notch #1. But Squidward is truly the most genuine/untypical character is a cartoon show (or any show for that matter). He’s not mean; he’s just cranky for he constantly wishes that he’s somewhere else. Instead of stuck at a dead-end job at a junk-food restaurant with an evil capitalist boss and an over-excited workmate, that is. He enjoys the finer things is life, like playing clarinet for hours, free-interpretation dance class, and canned-bread. He’s such a cultural dork.

Patrick Star – the resident johny knoxville

Patrick is what you get when you cross a ‘slacker’ with a ‘jackass’, so he surely knows how to have fun. He is constantly unemployed and wears nothing else than a floral boxer shorts (and I don’t think he has a closet full of those boxers and changes them daily, so I think he never change his boxers..speaking of personal hygiene, people!). He spends his days by doing, well, nothing. He really cares about Spongebob and always wants to help out his best mate, but due to his intelligence (or lack thereof) he usually ends up screwing things up. Well at least it’s the thought that counts.

Spongebob Squarepants – the resident sweetheart slash loser

I still can’t get over the fact that Spongebob is actually a scouring pad, the kind that you would use when you’re doing your dishes. But instead of the sink with plates, pans and pots, his habitat is at the bottom of the ocean with fishes, crabs, and sea-stars. I mean, how did the creators of this show come up with this idea? But come to think of it: sponge DOES belong in the sea, since it’s actually dried mollusk. Anyway, biological facts aside, Spongebob is a brilliant character. He’s naïve in the sweetest way and somewhat believes there’re goodness in every single person. That’s why people love him. Not to forget those big round eyes, tin-whistle nose, and gapped front teeth. OH, and even though I hate pineapple, I SO love his pineapple house.

Flying Dutchman – the resident ghoul

He used to be a pirate, but when he died instead of giving him a proper burial that a pirate deserves, people put his corpse on a show (kinda like Madame Tussaud’s wax statue, but more creepy). So know he seeks revenge by haunting the living. It was actually quite a grave history. But yet Flying Dutchman is anything but frightening. He would pop out of nowhere and say the stupidest things, which are supposed to be scary. Poor guy.

That generic brown fish John Doe – the resident nobody

He’s this nameless, insignificant character that would only say a line and then never shows up on any scene for the rest of the episode. He usually plays the role of a customer at Krusty Krab, or a passer-by at the streets of Bikini Bottom. His lines only varies between something like “one Krabby Patty, please” to “Look, it’s the bird man!”. He always wears brown trousers with a buckled belt. You know you’re a Spongebob-addict if you know what I’m talking about J

Actually I love all the characters in this ingenious show, so it’s definitely not a slim-picking. I had some tough time deciding about who would make the list. But finally I settled down with those five as my favorite of all time. What are yours?

Five Reasons why Boxer is the best Dog in the ‘hood

2006-04-30T23:46:00.004-07:00

Boxer has been my family’s pet dog for more than 10 yrs now. Make no mistake people, he’s NOT a Boxer-breed. He’s just a ‘village’ dog J We gave him the name ‘Boxer’ for some stupid reason too tedious to mention here. He can do those dog tricks like ‘sit’, ‘roll over’, ‘play dead’, ‘stand on hind legs’ or ‘be quiet’, but not on command.

He ain’t no Lassie, but he is not a bad family dog...

He’s cheap

Literally and metaphorically speaking. My dad bought him in a Chinese food restaurant (don’t ask) for only Rp 10.000, about 10 years ago. Do you know what Golden Ret or a Schitzu will cost you? Well, certainly more than Rp 10.000. And Boxer acts like the cheap dog he is. He eats anything that is..(ummm I was about to say ‘edible’ there, but I guess ‘karet gelang’ would fall in to that category, would it?). Well, he eats anything, period. No need for those nutritious-omega-three-gingko-biloba canned dog food!

He’s phat

No, actually I mean Fat. Plump. Corpulent. Chubby. Stout. Heavy. Obese. Large. And he’s not tall either. He’s kinda like a big salami with legs and head. Which is a good good thing because if he’s tall and skinny then he would look like that generic ‘kampung’ dog. That’s why I used to secretly feed him with left over Christmas cookies (his fave is cheese castengels). At least people were misguided when they first saw him, thinking that he’s a foreign-breed dog (and there’s also this one time when someone mistaken him as a pig).

He barks quite convincingly

Well at least if you don’t see him. He really doesn’t look like a guard dog, seriously. I once saw on TV, this show about guard dogs. There’s this guy whose dogs has won numerous best-in-show awards telling the viewer the physical feature of a good guard dog. Straight and sturdy legs. When the dogs stands on its 4 feet, seen from the side its back is supposed to be a straight line. Pointy-instead-of-floppy ears. Negate all those features and you can pretty much describe Boxer. At least the bark makes up for the physical flaws.

He buries his treasure for future emergencies, just in case. SMART!

Which is not exactly a good idea, since ‘treasure’ here refers to loaves of bread that my sis tossed at him when she ‘has no time’ to feed him the proper meal. He doesn’t actually like bread but maybe he think he may want to eat them one day, so he normally buries them. Usually the day after, we would find him chewing his jaws off, struggling to eat a dirt-covered loaf of bread. We don’t know whether to feel pity or mad at him.

He has never bitten me, ever.

While it’s only mandatory for other (more intelligent) dogs not to bite their master, I’m actually proud of the fact that Box has never intentionally bitten me. This is because there’s actually a not-so-short list of his victims. I know that I should worry about the aggressive behavior, but I’m still happy for not being on that list. Well, who says that happiness isn’t relative?

Five Most Favorite (painting) Artist

2006-04-30T23:46:00.002-07:00

Norman Rockwell

Rockwell’s art is very very American, in a very very good way. He did the ‘Four Freedom’ series of illustration for the US government’s campaign. Most of his works are posters, magazine covers and illustration, but he also did oil on canvas (and he did it superbly, I might add). One of his most well-known paintings is probably the “Triple Self Potrait”, but my favorite is “Gossip” (cunning story-telling skill!). Probably due to his background as a magazine illustrator, Rockwell usually emphasized on facial expression and the mental-atmosphere of a situation instead of the shape and composition of objects constituting that situation. His line is clean, with easy-on-the-eyes colors and thoughtful details. Rockwell often used people with jovial expression, interacting with each other with a touch a situational comedy as his object. He seldom painted a single person, and when he did usually the object is somewhat ‘interacting’ with something else, such as a reflection on a mirror (“Mirror”, “Triple Self Potrait”), or a painting (“Critic”), or a burnt cigarette (“Fire”). You won’t have to frown or think hard to figure out what his paintings mean which is a good thing for me; but some people his art as “too commercial” (so what’s wrong with being commercial?). All you need is an eye for the details. Some sense of humor would also help… and let Rockwell makes you smile.

Andrew Wyeth

If Rockwell’s works convey humor and happiness, Wyeth’s convey calmness and some therapeutical value. Wyeth’s equivalence in music would probably be the Kings of Convenience. Looking at his works (even though only via computer monitor) usually takes me into a quiet, not-so-sunny summer afternoon…the smell of grass and summer blossom is filling the air…summer breeze is wiping my face and fluttering my hair..there’s a sense of tranquility and a feeling that nothing could go wrong (breath in, breath out….sigh!). Wyeth is a (post) impressionist and he really knows how to put the ray of light on to the canvas (isn’t that what being an impressionist all about?). And it just didn’t seem like he’s trying. All of his works are done with breath-taking scrutiny (best example is “Wind from the Sea”, and also the “Helga” series), but at the same thing it has this laid-back, effortless feel to it. My all time fave of Wyeth’s is definitely “Christina’s World”. I saw it first on the Encyclopedia Americana (yes, I read encyclopedias) and i remember thinking ‘oh it’s a nice painting..ho-hum’. But then I read about the story behind the painting, and then I look at the painting again (printed in black and white, with the size of ID card)..and there’s this poignant feeling inside, bittersweet ripples that turned into waves of sadness (but not the weepy kind of sad). It was the 1^st and only time for me, that painting actually made me almost-cry. And for that reason, and so many unexplainable reasons, Andrew is my fave of all time.

Edward Hopper

Hopper’s works kinda resembles Wyeth’s, in terms of the feeling they conveys. But Hopper’s peace and calm feel has more of a dark/lonely note to it. Only slightly, though. I guess that most people would agree that loneliness is a sad thing, but Hopper depicted it in a way that makes loneliness seems so beautiful. His most well-known (and most powerful, in my opinion) work is “Nighthawk”. The stranded streets, the guy sitting on the left-hand side of the counter (we can only see his back), the intensity of light inside the diner (a bit sterile-hospital-neon-ish)..all of the details just scream out the word ‘lonely!’ in a very subtle kind of way. Other less-subtle examples are “Morning Sun”, “Hotel-Room”, “Automat”, and “NY movie” (a personal favorite). Each of them depicted a woman standing/sitting alone lost in her thought (why is it always a woman?). Another “signature” he often used in his pieces is bright color (“Chop Suey” is a perfect example). I think it’s contradictive and at the same brilliant that he used bright,vibrant color in paintings with such a “dark” theme.

Vincent van Gogh

He’s one of the most well-known art giant of all times. Kinda overwhelm me a bit to write about his work. He’s most famous for the sunflower series that he painted during his years in Arles, France. Another one of his masterpieces is the Starry Night. Actually the painting doesn’t exactly look like a starry night sky; it’s even more beautiful than the real thing! oh I’m so out of words. I mean, it’s Van Gogh..what more can I say?

Auguste Renoir

Another giant. Already out of words to describe him. He’s famous for his excellence in painting how light would reflect on a person’s face. There’s also one of his painting where people were sitting under a tree, and there were light coming through openings between leaves. He painted the reflection of light in every single face and it looks flawlessly natural. I once read in Reader’s Digest that some interviewer asked Renoir how he knew when his brushstroke was “right” when he was painting the reflection of light on a face. His answer was “when it feels like pinching”.

I despise art critics because they usually only talk about the technical/originality aspects of ‘art’. Why dichotomize such a fluid thing as art into ‘bad’ and ‘good’? Why does there have to be an objectivity (common subjectivity) about art? Isn’t art supposed to be personal and subjective? Isn’t it supposed to mean different things to a different person? Isn’t it more about it makes you feel, instead of how your senses ‘feel’ about it?

Five Things to Keep in Mind while Reading this Blog

2006-04-30T23:46:00.001-07:00

The author of this blog is an introvert person disguising as an extrovert (or is it the other way around?? Oh whatever). She’s not exactly sitting-on-coach-eating-chessum-Pringles-watching-friends (i.e. comfortable) writing her heart out but surprisingly she has some fun doing so. To avoid over-scrutinizing/ questioning/judging/nosey-ing, she would state in prior that this blog is NOT a personal diary. All of the similarity in names/characters/events/places is purely coincidental:)
None of the posted articles about films/book/records/tv shows/artists (usually with title beginning with Top 5 most fave..such a cheesy title, she knows) is meant to be a review of some sort. The author despises pretentious critics who think they know what they’re talking about. All of those articles are just further elaboration about her personal favorites.
This is her 1^st blog. So all the rookie-mistakes are excused (and she’s definitely not a tech-freak, so that’s like a double excuse)
No pseudo-philosophical, quasi-philosophical, philosophical, or anti-philosophical stuffs here. This is just her crazy talking (and having fun).
Please feel free to leave your comments. Let her know what you think :)